The Battle of the Bus

We arrived in NY three minutes before my bus was scheduled to leave. I ran to the terminal and bolted past the line of people waiting. "Is that the bus to Boston?" I asked the man loading bags into the luggage compartment. "Yeh," he nodded. "Can I get on?" "You gotta wait in the line." As I stood in this line, I realized that many of my fellow passengers had tickets for a 4:00 bus. Mine was a 3:30. I watched, regretfully, as the 3:30 pulled out of the terminal. As I got some life safers from the vending machine for lunch, I rehearsed what I would say when I reached the ticket-taker. I was infuriated that they'd filled my bus first-come first-board. I would never expect this on a train or plane, why should it happen on a bus?

When I reached the front of the line, I spoke up. "Sir, I had a ticket for the 3:30, can you please tell me how, in the future, I would be permitted to board the bus which I purchased a ticket for?" This was my attempt at assertiveness, addressing a slightly different issue from the one at hand. The ticket taker, a short black guy, didn't respond, didn't look up. "My ticket was for the 3:30 bus," I tried again. "You can git on the bus," he said finally, looking up, confronting me. "What is your name please?" I asked, anger escalating. "Why?" "Because when I call Greyhound I want to let them know who I spoke to." "You can speak to the supervisor, or you can git on the bus." Deep breath. I'm losing this one. "Fine, I'll get on the bus." Realizing I'd be traveling for at least 10 hours, I felt the anger in my chest transform to defeat and frustration. The feeling traveled to my eyes. I've never, since childhood, been able to inhibit this automatic response to stress: crying. I tried to suck it up, opening my novel and pretending I was deeply moved by the story.

The ticket-taker turned out to be the driver. He walked past me briskly, checking the seats and aisle. I'd probably be pretty snippy if I had to drive a bus between NY and Boston for a living, I thought. Just one dose of rush hour traffic on either end is enough to drive a person mad. I began to feel sorry that I had taken out my frustration about missing the bus on Driver. We began our journey as Driver honked and hollared his way out of NY.

I was distracted from my novel by the angry letter to Greyhound I was fashioning in my mind. I am clearly not good at letting things go. "How dare I be inconvenienced?!" part of me was shouting. And then on a side note, "Do I have an inflated sense of intitlement?" My mind was in a mental tug of war. Around dinnertime, Driver turned off the highway and pulled into an Arby's parking lob. Arby's, why? I thought, as if this were a direct affront of my dining sensibilities.

I got out of the bus and everyone filed past me to stretch and get some fast food. Driver and I were left outside alone. "Hey, how you doing?" he asked, walking over to me. "I'm fine," I said, not knowing quite how to answer this question. "Really?" he seemed genuinely concerned. "Yah, it's just been a long day." I felt irritation lift, as if sucked out of my body by a giant emotion-sucking vaccuum cleaner. I noticed Driver had a large mishapen lump on his head, and wondered how this cranial deformity has influenced his life. He smiled at me and disappeared into Arby's. I spotted a convenience store across the street and headed over to get some cheese sticks and gum.

As I climbed up the steps to board the bus again, I told the driver, "Thanks, I really appreciated that." "Yah, no problem," he said, "I was worrying about you." I sat down in my seat, struck by how much impact total strangers could have on each other. I managed to fight and make up with someone I'd encountered for only a few short moments. I figured he probably saw me tearing up.. Separately, we'd taken a conflict and wrestled with it- me angry, tired, but understanding; he tired, nerves spent, but caring. If only there was more of this open emotional commerce in the world, allowing us to make peace with our fellow human beings, things might not escalate to the point of angry letters.

Yum-Yum Teriyaki

Whisk together for the teriyaki sauce:

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 T. minced fresh ginger

3 T. sesame oil

1/4 cup soy sauce

1 T. red wine vinegar

2 T. Japanese rice vinegar

4 T. brown sugar

red pepper flakes (optional- if you want some kick)

(can be increased by a quarter or a half if you like things super saucy)

1 small sweet potato, cubed (I know, I put sweet potatoes in e-v-e-r-y-thing)

1 small yellow onion, sliced

2 small or 1 medium carrot, sliced into rounds

3 garlic scapes, chopped (optional- I wouldn't go out looking for these unless they show up in your farm share)

1/2 cup snow peas, which I forgot to use, but would probably be good.

1 package seitan faux beef strips. I like Trader Joe's beefless strips, or if you want to put in some real animal, you could use grilled steak strips.

1 head bok choy, chopped

1/3 a cup or so roasted cashews

sesame seeds

white or brown rice, cooked according to instructions

1. Put some oil in a large pan or wok over medium-high heat and begin to sautee the onion until it softens and is slightly browned. Lower heat and add sweet potatoes and carrots, sautee a few minutes more. Add garlic scape and (faux) beef, sautee, sautee, add snow peas, sautee.

2. Add teriyaki sauce and cook until the sweet potatoes are tender, at least another 5-10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add cashews. Place the bok choy on top of your sautee, cover, and allow to steam for a few minutes. Stir, and serve over rice sprinkled with sesame seeds.

My Absolute Favorite Quesadillas, Bordering on My Favorite Thing of All Time

This recipe truly did come from having a LOT of farmer's market kale, and my love for Mexican food. It can be made pretty basically (without the potatoes) or with additions like guacamole or roasted red peppers. Really, it comes down to the sauce. As in all my recipes, amounts are approximate.

2 bunches of kale, chopped- best if it has been blanched (briefly boiled) and squeezed dry first. It should come to about a cup of condensed, vitamin packed greens. You can also use swiss chard, spinach, collard greens or any combination of these. Frozen spinach works well too.

1 small yellow onion, sliced

1 sweet potato, halved, then sliced into half circles (about 1/4-1/2 inch thick)

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 cup roasted corn, fresh or frozen

2 cups shredded cheese- cheddar and jack is a good combo

3 or more flour tortillas

Wicked good sauce- 1/2 to 1 t chipotle chile puree, depending on how spicy you want your sauce (see note about this magical condiment), 1/4 cup mayo, 1-2 T fresh lemon juice, 1 t brown sugar

Cumin, salt, "bayou" seasoning (salt, paprica, garlic powder, cayenne, black pepper, mustard powder, fresh lemon peel)

1 lemon wedge

To make chipotle chile puree, get one can of chipotle chiles in adobo sauce, available in the Mexican foods section of grocery stores, and puree in your food processor. Freeze the unused portion and use to add kick to soups, sauces, eggs, just about anything.

1 Heat about 3 T oil in a pan over medium, add sweet potatoes. Stir occasionally, and season with a good amount of salt (a couple good all-over shakes), cumin, and bayou seasoning (spicy, go easy). Cook until the potatoes are softened, about 8 minutes, and add garlic. Cook 1-2 minutes more, season to taste.

2 Meanwhile, heat oil in a separate pan and add onions. Allow them to brown. Add kale, season with a bit of salt and squeeze in lemon juice. Stir in corn.

3 Spray a pan (yeah I tend to use a lot of pans when I cook) with cooking spray and lay one tortilla in the pan. Cover one half with cheese (1/2 cup or so), a couple spoons of sauce, and a couple scoops of the potato mixture and kale mixture. Cook until cheese is melted and the tortilla is crisp. Transfer to a plate, repeat, go mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Chopped Green Stuff with Homemade Ranch Dressing

About 4 cups chopped fresh greens- I used red butterhead lettuce and Napa cabbage

2 carrots, thinly sliced into rounds

1/2 cup roasted corn, fresh or frozen

1/2 cup sliced canned black olives (optional)

garlic croutons- easy to make, easier to buy

"Ranch dressing"- combine about a quarter cup of mayo with 1 T. milk or more until you like the consistency, 1 T. lemon juice, 2 T. parmesan cheese, and lots of freshly ground black pepper. Salt to taste. I don't know if these are the measurements to be honest. It might taste good.

1 Combine all veggies, toss with dressing.

6-Layer Tex-Mex Eggs

3 eggs

1/2 onion, chopped into bits

4 chives, sliced

2 garlic scapes

2 six inch soft flour tortillas

1 cup cheese- I used smoked mozzarella, cheddar, and a bit of pepper jack..whatever you have will do

guacamole- Mash one ripe avocado with: juice of a quartered lime or eighthed lemon, 1 clove minced garlic, 1/4 t. cumin, 1 T. minced red onion, 1 T minced cilantro, salt and pepper and extra citrus to taste

4 T salsa, your favorite kind, i used Green Mountain Gringo roasted garlic

1/2 cup corn, defrosted if frozen- I always keep some of Trader Joe's frozen roasted corn on hand- fresh roasted is even better!

2 dried or fresh sage leaves

chili powder, salt, pepper

1 Heat oil or butter in a pan, add onions and allow to soften, about 3 minutes. Add garlic and garlic scape, cook one minute more.

2 Drop the eggs into the pan, stirring the yolks so they break. Sprinkle the top of the eggs with the chives, salt, pepper, and chili powder. Two passes over the top with each spice should do it. You know how to cook eggs, I don't really need to explain this part.

3 While the eggs are cooking (I guess I should've told you to start doing this already) spray a separate pan with cooking spray and set over medium-low heat. Lay one tortilla in the pan and spread on 1/2 cup cheese (or more, really, go ahead). Allow cheese to melt and bottom of tortilla to brown, set on a plate. Repeat with second tortilla.

4 On top of each tortilla, layer guacamole, eggs, corn, salsa, and crumbled sage leaves. Top with some fresh pepper.

Happy Garden Veggie Curry

1/2 yellow onion, sliced

1 carrot, cut on 1/2 inch diagonals

1 sweet potato, in 1/2 inch cubes

2 large or 3 small cloves garlic

1 T finely minced ginger

3 sliced garlic scapes

1 package faux "chicken" seitan strips

1 can lite coconut milk

1-2 t good curry powder

1 good veggie bouillon cube

2 t. brown sugar

1 head bok choy, coarsely chopped

1 head tatsoi, coarsely chopped

oil for sauteeing

brown or white rice, cooked

1. Sautee onion, carron, and sweet potato in 2 T oil for about 4 minutes, until veggies begin to soften.

2. Add garlic, ginger, garlic scapes, and faux "chicken" seitan strips. Cook about 2 minutes more.

3. Add coconut milk, curry powder, bouillon cube, and brown sugar. Stir until blended togther. Simmer until potatoes are tender.

4. Add bok choy and tatsoi. Heat through, about 1 minute. Adjust spice to taste. Enjoy over rice.

Cultivating empathetic joy

In Buddhism there is a concept called "empathetic joy." Empathy is the ability to experience what someone else experiences, to "put yourself in someone else's shoes," so to speak. I've been thinking a lot about this lately and was inspired by a chapter about it in Sharon Salzburg's book Lovingkindness. She describes empathetic joy as essentially the antidote to feelings of envy, inadequacy, and low self-worth, all products of the human tendency is to compare ourselves to others. Am I better than this or that? A lot of energy goes into keeping up a certain level of status in our own minds.

Envy is not a pretty emotion, so we either try to hide it away and it eats at us, or we become negative, resentful, unpleasant human beings. People envy all kinds of things~ other peoples' homes, their looks, their good relationships, their jobs, their happiness. It can lead people to feel badly when others are doing well, and feel good when things go poorly for others, as if this changes our situation at all.

Empathetic joy is a practice of being open to these feelings when they come up, and beginning to allow true joy for others into our hearts. There are a couple reasons this would be beneficial. For one, it can counter the powerful negative emotions of envy and resentment. It can create a genuine gladness for friends, strangers, even enemies. I think of it like this, there is so much suffering in the world, if there is anyone experiencing joy, success, peace or happiness, we have reason to rejoice. (Why don't non-profits ever send out pictures of people laughing along with those pictures of poor children?)

I have been practicing cultivating empathetic joy for a few months, and I do see a difference in the way I feel toward others and myself. Sometimes what used to arise as resentment and self-loathing now has a quality of deep yearning. (Yearning is a much easier feeling than resentment and self-loathing, so it's a start.) I can be informed by this yearning: What is it about another person's life that has triggered yearning? Is there something I can learn about what I need? If yes, mental note, if no, I can release the need to chase something that is not genuinely what I need.

Sometimes, I just feel happy to be in the presence of someone who is feeling good. I can be happy that someone laughs, has a loving moment, has nice posessions, without feeling as though this means they're better than me, or thinking, "Why can't I?" This is not always easy... I still find it almost impossible to have empathetic joy if I'm feeling just miserable, or if something touches on a very deep and out-of-reach yearning. But I do like a good challenge.

We all have our own challenges and pleasures to encounter in this life. It seems we can only do our best to genuinely stand with each other through both the suffering and the joy.